18 Tricks & Tips to get Preggers (Besides the obvious! Can’t help you with that.) 25 years of notes from my grandmothers’, senior midwives and my own client successes, at your service to get a bun in your oven. Years, people, years of having an ear out for the quirky stuff, the old wives tales, the “hmmmm, that worked?” for folks struggling with fertility.
Prelude to Fertility, My Grandmothers’ Wisdom – $5
- Hands Off ~ Let’s take a look at common sense items like nutrition, and not so common ideas like what kind of knickers to sport to promote fertility.
- Hands On ~ I’ll teach you places on your body to massage, reflex, and push that promote a healthy, fertile belly.
- Body Influencing ~ Ways you probably never ever thought of to get your body primed and juicy. (My grandmothers, yowza, they are all about the doozies, the old school tried and true. Things we forget with our more modern medical world.)
You know what I want for you? A better relationship with your body, and lots of ways to promote a healthy, happy belly, including a daily belly mini massage routine! Best case scenario, you get a baby bump. Worst case scenario, you have learned a bunch about your body, your partner, and can be comforted that you’ve tried darn near everything that was crunchy and non medical. I’m voting for the bump.
My FaceBook post a couple of weeks ago.
“y’all, my grandmother died last night. The one who taught me through actions and words so many things, one of the biggest that it is totally possible to earn a living as a local wise woman/alternative health practitioner. If you have felt her love through me, could you give me a thumbs up, a hell yeah or hands in the air? She was awesome like that. Like me. Like You.”
I got a 133 likes, and over 50 comments. Wowzers. I’m thinking about all the things she taught me, either healing specific, “Those thongs, I don’t like them! How are you supposed to be free with that all up in there?” or about life, “Let your husband be the head of the household, so what?! Let him! You be the neck, what is he without the neck? Nothing.” And as I’ve been writing on Labor Whispering, MapBook for mamas, I kept FEELING her here with me, so strong, looking over my shoulder, “say more about that, no take that out” and then just had this over whelming sense of, “How can you teach them to get the baby out, its not even in there yet.” To which I say to the grandmother in my head, “UM, maybe they don’t need a lesbian to tell them how to get pregnant.” Her reply? “YA, well maybe some do.” So what I know is that the only way to guarantee you will get preganant is to be underage in the back seat of a car with someone you haven’t known all that long in a parking lot after a rock concert. That’s pretty much a done deal. So I shoved the Labor Whispering Mapbook for Mamas onto a back burner, got looped up on allergy meds, went on a writing marathon, and finished the entire first draft of a redo of some notes I had from a past workshop. I shot it over to a friend for editing. 3300 words, 9 pages, Prelude to Fertility, My GrandMothers’ Wisdom. Boom. Next step? Story boarding for the PDF.
And the friend I shot it over to for editing? Yeah, she already shot it back, in less than 24 hours, she’s good like that. Alejandra Ortega, mucho smoocho to ya. So I’ll work it over some more, apply my fancy PDF class knowledge from Jewels Branch Creative, and get it out ASAP. And I think my work is focused on folks who want some natural support for fertility, maybe they are not getting pregnant as fast as they hoped, wanting to try some natural options before heading into the fertility specialists. Perfecto. Here are 15 plus tips that you may not have ever heard of that will help you get that bun in your oven. xo, Rowan * Bless Me, Ultima came out this week on film. I had the great fortune to have Ms. Gwendolyn Green as my high school English teacher in the ’80’s. She had us read the book as an assignment, and then invited Rudolfo Anaya to speak to our English classes. It was awesome, and he said that as he kept writing his book, he HEARD Ultima say from over his shoulder, “You’ll never be successful with this book until you put me in there.” Grandmothers, sheesh, they think they know everything.
Ever give a gift that you were totally pumped about, and they were soooo not into it?Yeah, thats exactly what happened with these glasses. I was so EXCITED to give them to my honey, and were they well received? No. Not even a little. This doesn’t ever have to be your story. Best gift ever? Prenatal massage with Rowan
Want to be the best friend/in-law/sister ever? Whoa, I gotcha covered! Best Pregnancy Ever- $1600
- 9 Prenatal Massage sessions
- 1 Bring It, Baby! massage session (where we get mama’s muscles loose and juicy, energy blockages cleared, and the labor ball rolling)
- 1 Postpartum Session to help reset mama’s body chemistry, check on her belly and take care of any sore new mommy muscles.
And because I’m pretty sure I’m going to be in love with you and your family at this point I’m going to come to hospital or home and give an awesome FOOT MASSAGE and clap and cheer. ‘Cause Mama’s Rock.
Have someone in your life that you would super love love love to support, be there for?
But you can’t cause you are:
have relationship tension (maybe a new MIL where the relationship is not always perfect, or the mother, or the …..)
clueless, and would not be of help anyway.
Considering gifting. Seriously.
Read this over, imagining you are mama. Feel the love? Feel the support?
Best Massage Doula EVER Package~ $1900
Includes one prenatal visit so we can get to know each other, your partner can meet me, and we review the birth plan, and then:
3 Prenatal Massage sessions
1 Labor Whisperer massage session (where we get your pelvis muscles loose and juicy, energy blockages cleared, and the labor ball rolling) 1 Postpartum Session to help reset your body chemistry, check on your belly and take care of any sore new mommy muscles. 1 in-home awesome postpartum FOOT MASSAGE with clapping and cheering for you cause you did such a great job birthing your baby. Unlimited hours of labor support, and massage massage massage during your labor. Let’s do our best to provide You and Your family the birth you desire. Please review the Doula Contract to learn more.
Have you seen this awesome picture? That’s baby and mama in a healing sacred herb bath, four hours after his amazing home birth. Notice the dim lights, the look on that baby’s face, the overall vibe? The following piece of sage advice was written by a new papa, this new papa. He and his incredible wife T had the most amazing home birth, and he was doing his best to keep the sacred vibe rolling ~ How To Visit a Newborn – bring food.* – wash dishes. – help with laundry. fold some towels. – refill mama’s water glass. – be aware that you are entering a sacred space, where mama and baby have enacted a tangible miracle, love made flesh. enter with quiet reverence, please. – papa, whether he realizes it or not, is the guardian of a sacred space. please do what you can to make his job easier. – please limit your visit to a couple of hours at absolute most, limit photography to the bare minimum, and limit the number of people in the birthing room. – wash your hands. – modulate the tone and volume of your voice. you don’t have to whisper, but loud noise will disturb baby. – please leave any gifts in your car. if you must bring gifts, set them down someplace out of the way, and tell papa “We got you guys an (x).” – baby has three jobs: eating, sleeping and pooping. – mama has three jobs: resting, healing and feeding baby. – If your presence isn’t helping mama or baby perform one of their three jobs, ask yourself why you have entered their space. – baby is not a rock star, an NFL quarterback, or a lingerie model. baby will be disturbed by lots of strange giants pointing flashing, clicking devices at him. this is where UFO abduction nightmares come from. – if mama or baby is looking tired or stressed, make your graceful exit immediately. this applies even if you just got here ten minutes ago. – as you make your timely and graceful exit, grab the trash bag and drop it in the outside bin. – all of these guidelines and regulations may seem onerous and restrictive. Daddy may seem like a cranky asshole. mama and papa and baby have all just been through a major upheaval in their lives. adjusting to that, and tending to the daily needs of all three, is an enormous job. show respect. – baby is forming non-verbal associations that will last his entire life. if you want to continue to be a part of his life, you want him to associate you with warmth and comfort and relaxation. Signed, Cranky Hippie New Dad * Have I ever talked about my stepmother? No, well thats probably because we have diametrical views on pretty much everything, but one thing we can both get behind is being gracious. And bringing food. So let’s just call this first point Betty Anderson Approved.
Howdy Mamas. Ever thought of laughing yourself into labor? The Laugh until you Pee* method, a soon to be trademarked technique just now coined by yours truly, is gaur on teeeed to work, well, not really but you WILL be in a much better mood. Start with this website, Happy Place
And if you aren’t contracting yet, go clear your bladder and read on….. Humor courtesy of our smart phones. Need more? Great, cause I started this Pinterest Board just for You, Laughter to Labor. And thats what I got, cause many times going into labor happens when Moms feel safe and happy, babies are ready, and Dads have a beer. xo, Rowan *Ha! I totally know its not hard for you to pee on yourself, but you get the idea. AND it may not be pee this time, so there.
I’m talking to you, pregnant mama in Houston. I’ve contracted with supah awesome knitter Hoopin Kim (thats her, waaay down below) to knit up a bunch of these super cute cotton boobie hats for infants*, some life like (looking like a real breast, gasp!) and some more abstract. Who they for? Well, for you of course! I’m going to give ’em to my mamas who come in for the Bring It Baby! Labor prep massage, to help them represent. What be that, the fabulous Labor Whisperer Session prep massage you ask? This massage is where we do everything I can think of to get your body and mind ready for the most empowered birth possible. Some time labor starts right then and there, like a spontaneous natural labor induction, while other times labor takes her time, starting in the next couple of days. So mamas leave me all relaxed, happy, ready to birth AND a newborn boobie hat. Everybody wins! xo, Rowan * Heres a pattern for ya ~
Here is my girl Mean Kathleen Wilson, looking fly. See, she’s the rock star doula of Houston, Texas. Otherwise known as the SHIZ. She has an amazing birth story, wanna read? Birth of baby Lola right here! Not enough for ya? How ’bout some photos? Notice that as a self respecting massage doula, I’m only in two photos, one of which is my hands on Mean Kathleen’s feet. FYI: Lola is named after me.* I went by Lola in the ’90s while working in a psych hospital in Florida. L O L A …..Lola. Welcome to Earth, sweet girl. xo, Rowan ps feel free to comment on how awesome the photography is, or her story, or whatever strikes your fancy 🙂 * not really, but it still makes me feel good.