Have you seen this awesome picture? That’s baby and mama in a healing sacred herb bath, four hours after his amazing home birth. Notice the dim lights, the look on that baby’s face, the overall vibe? The following piece of sage advice was written by a new papa, this new papa. He and his incredible wife T had the most amazing home birth, and he was doing his best to keep the sacred vibe rolling ~ How To Visit a Newborn – bring food.* – wash dishes. – help with laundry. fold some towels. – refill mama’s water glass. – be aware that you are entering a sacred space, where mama and baby have enacted a tangible miracle, love made flesh. enter with quiet reverence, please. – papa, whether he realizes it or not, is the guardian of a sacred space. please do what you can to make his job easier. – please limit your visit to a couple of hours at absolute most, limit photography to the bare minimum, and limit the number of people in the birthing room. – wash your hands. – modulate the tone and volume of your voice. you don’t have to whisper, but loud noise will disturb baby. – please leave any gifts in your car. if you must bring gifts, set them down someplace out of the way, and tell papa “We got you guys an (x).” – baby has three jobs: eating, sleeping and pooping. – mama has three jobs: resting, healing and feeding baby. – If your presence isn’t helping mama or baby perform one of their three jobs, ask yourself why you have entered their space. – baby is not a rock star, an NFL quarterback, or a lingerie model. baby will be disturbed by lots of strange giants pointing flashing, clicking devices at him. this is where UFO abduction nightmares come from. – if mama or baby is looking tired or stressed, make your graceful exit immediately. this applies even if you just got here ten minutes ago. – as you make your timely and graceful exit, grab the trash bag and drop it in the outside bin. – all of these guidelines and regulations may seem onerous and restrictive. Daddy may seem like a cranky asshole. mama and papa and baby have all just been through a major upheaval in their lives. adjusting to that, and tending to the daily needs of all three, is an enormous job. show respect. – baby is forming non-verbal associations that will last his entire life. if you want to continue to be a part of his life, you want him to associate you with warmth and comfort and relaxation. Signed, Cranky Hippie New Dad   * Have I ever talked about my stepmother? No, well thats probably because we have diametrical views on pretty much everything, but one thing we can both get behind is being gracious. And bringing food. So let’s just call this first point Betty Anderson Approved.

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