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Well, I Really D!cked that Up.

Screwed the pooch, my d!ck’s in the dirt, for some reason all my analogies feature the glorious peen, or an activity there of. And I must admit I feel a wee(!) bit better each time I say it. D!ck.

I’m fixin to totally disregard the sage advice of my personal entrepreneurial hero, and do a little growing up in public. See, I moved my clinic space. Into my apt. The groovy yet oh so small apt. On a Saturday afternoon. After I saw clients. With a help of a bunch of friends in the Soji Power collective. (and apparently I am, strike that, was a nasty dirty woman, my god I had never seen dust bunnies like that. I blame the puppy.) Soji Power in action! And even with all this help (and some awesome paint from the folks at New Living), you know what? I wasn’t ready to see clients on Monday. Canceled more folks on Tuesday (complete with a FB meltdown) and on Wednesday, feeling shaky but pushing through, thirty minutes before my first client, the electricity gets cut off. I’m clueless. I can’t even tell if I’ve flipped a breaker or what. I’ve received no threatening letters, I payed in full last month, so I give em a call and yes, mam, I got turned off. Well excuse, fucking, me, I apparently need a PhD in bill deciphering and heiroglyphics to understand when and how much and why exactly I’m paying more during months that Im not EVEN USING THE AC than during the summer. You know, that summer where it only rained once for 15 minutes. In May. As a side note, I could go on and on about the lack of customer service and civility, but I won’t. Bitches. (I’m looking at you, Green Mountain.) So I had to do what my girl Crys Williams just wrote about, I had to deal with what came up after I wrote the “I’m gonna have to let you down,” email. It was way hard, and the texts too. I sucked, I’m awful, and my massage would be on par with Massage Envy or something, which is not even close to good enough for me. Just like Crys said, the world didn’t implode. Folks were sweet, and I was bathed in love. Some had less love than others, but love was there. So this has me wondering. Could I have built in more time to get settled? More time to get the vibe right? Cause it wasn’t about needing the money, thank you Bari Tessler, so I didn’t have to rush back to work, was it an old habit or que? I think it was my standard M.O., and as I offer services with more depth, infused with richer energy, more clarity, and deeper connection, moving forward requires the energy to be right, the flow deep, and the love pure for me to do my best work. Cause thats what folks come to me for, right? So after some more time, more tweaking, the vibe is right. Moving forward I’m going to remember to give myself the the time, the grace, to get it right. Instead of pushing pushing pushing, cramming to much in at once. More breath, less cram.   Since we are all in this together leave me a comment below if you have a standard operating procedure that no longer serves, and lets kick that to the curb. xo to the max, Rowan ps. need more peen? of course you do!

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