All I want is for my juicy new Danielle LaPorte planner to arrive, cause i got stuff to plan. Like school year 2016 stuff. think of this as better than a trapper keeper.
December is the last month of business as usual before midwifery madness, so please book your sessions that I either owe you, or a last hurrah before the doors close. Book here! Not acceptable you say? I will continue to work as a Houston doula or you can join my super small client pool. It’s been an awesome 20 years, Rowan P.S. Some of you know that Parsley left us last week. #trueloveneverdies
And Thats How You Have A Vaginal Breech Delivery in Houston To hear Angela tell it, her baby called me to him as her doula, crafting the perfect birth team. And later he called the perfect doctor to him, because if the stars and moon had not lined up just so, this birth would of had a way different ending. Angela is a gifted meditation teacher, and she co~teaches with her horse Takoda, so we hit it off well and I was pumped to be her doula. Her husband Tracey wasn’t quite as sold in the beginning on me as the best doula fit, but in the end it took all key players and I was super glad that i had landed this doula gig. Thank you Tracey for taking a chance with me. On Thursday morning during an ENOURMOUS storm like we get in Houston, I started getting texts that A’s water was leaking, mild contractions. She was 39 weeks, first baby, and I seriously was like we have at least another two weeks, just go back to sleep, its the storm and just probably vaginal goodge in over drive. Two hours later I get a phone call from her hubs, and he’s like, “Uh no Rowan, this is strong.” So we strategize a plan cause by now we are gonna need an ark to get to the medical center, and they are an hour away, but this papa is a TEXAS STUD and he assures me that he can get her to the hospital in his Texas sized truck. So I’m all like, well, could you come pick me up? Because I’m pretty sure the Metro Rail does not have submarine capacity and my Honda Element is pretty low, and Rock Steady says, “sure, see ya.” They swing by and get me, and Angela is working hard in the front seat of the truck, and I am NOT DIGGING AT ALL the way her belly looks, but when I try to crawl over into the front seat of the big truck she says,” DONT TOUCH ME ROWAN!!!” which from this lady was some strong words. So I sat back nicely into my chair. Hubs drops Mama A and I at the front door of the hospital in the med center, and these crazy town valets are all like “SIT DOWN!” and keep telling us we need a wheel chair, and then again a transport aide accosts us and tell us we NEED a wheel chair, that she has to SIT DOWN, to which I pretty much tell them to step off, I have it handled. Contractions are coming every two minutes or so, and she is doing so well, and also telling me she’s ready for this to be over. Oh, and that she doesn’t want to sit down. I snag her a wheel chair, sling all our stuff in it, the wheel chair stabilizes her walking, and gives her something to hold onto during contractions (I locked the wheels), and she reiterates that for serious she does not want to sit down. We run into PJ the Placenta Picker Upper in the lobby, and I let her know we’ll be needing her soon. A couple of detours later we end up in triage, hubs catches up with us, and right before she gets checked, I suggest she grab a pee. I go in with her to the bathroom, and she’s getting sweaty and red faced and frankly I’m concerned because this woman has been so smooth and quiet and surreal in her calmness, and now she’s getting a little erratic. When she sits her undies reveal a black tarry mess, baby poop, so I grab the midwife and reassure Angela that we need to let the midwife see this. The midwife gets her onto the bed, and I can tell by the check that 1) something’s up and 2) that baby is real LOOOOOOOW. Midwife calls for an ultrasound, and a quickie reveals that baby is breech, and that the midwife had in fact felt a bum. Hospital policy is all breech births are surgical births, so we are quickly running down the hallway to the elevator for the next floor, the surgical floor. I’m running after grabbing all the bags including the midwifes (yes, I accidentally stole her purse) and whispering in Tracey’s ear that the only slim chance in hell we have for a vaginal birth is if an experienced doctor is the back up and will allow it. No such luck, newer totally awesome doctor is the doc on call. Staring down the gun of a C Section. We get in the surgical prep suite, and y’all its a tiny tiny room and there are like 5-8 people in there, and now mama is saying, “Its burning!!!’ and the midwife is encouraging her not to push and keeping her hand close by, and that’s when the midwife says, “I think we are going to probably have a general anesthesia, it’s to late for an epidural.” Y’all, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t look into the eyes of this beautiful, effervescent woman after the fact and tell her that if she had just pushed her baby out in that OR prep room that she could of avoided a general anesthesia surgical birth. So I’m all shaking, standing next to her, and I put my lips to her ear and say, “You still have choices. If you don’t want a surgical birth, push.” And there is pretty much no part of me that didn’t think that bad ass midwife couldn’t deliver this baby. And I’m right here, happy to assist. The midwife, by the way, didn’t like me saying this at all. And said, “What are you telling her Rowan?” to which I replied, “That she has choices, but she’s gotta own them.” So now Angela is saying, “My baby’s ok? Why are we doing this? Why am i getting a c-section?!!!!” and the nurse starts yell-telling her that she has an unproven pelvis, that the baby’s head could get entrapped, and is over talking everyone else. I get it, it’s an excitable moment. So now Angela is yelling, “I don’t want a c-section, I can do it, I can do it, my baby’s ok, I can do it,” and then the sea of people parts and a kind faced older doctor who immediately brings a sense of peace and calm to the room walks in. And by older I mean more my age as opposed to my adult children. The doc looks at mama for a long moment, and then the midwife, who says, “Small baby, right here, roomy pelvis,” and stands back and looks. And looks. “I can do it, I can do it!” More looking. And then after a small eternity doc says, “I’ll deliver vaginally if you only listen to me,” and Angela looks at her husband, says, “What do you think?” to which Rock Steady replies, “I think you should push our baby out.” Lets just think about this for a minute. It is totally hitting the fan, and everyone is either telling you that your baby’s head is gonna get stuck in your wife’s vag or something else might go really wrong, and he says, “Push our baby out.” He was educated, he’d read the books, gone to class, but mostly, he believed in his wife. He believed in his wife. That was stronger than all the circus going on around them. #RockSteady So now it’s really crazy town in there, because we need to get her off the surgery transport bed and onto a different bed, one that breaks down for delivery. She gets moved over, Rock Steady on one side, me hand holding and leg holding on the other side, and midwife and Miagi doctor coach her to push against closed mouth, pressed lips. Out of her vagina comes a blue scrotum, and all I can think of is that OF COURSE this man has a baby that’s born balls first. Sheesh. Then we have a little tush, and Papa says to Mama, “Boo, I see him, I see our baby!” with a little hitch in his voice and it was so sweet. Next a torso and then some legs that are STICK STRAIGHT and kinda kicking/goose stepping, and when only the head remains and the anxiety is through the roof and it is WALL TO WALL people, like really think a Black Friday rush at the electronics store, Angela says, “I’m tired, I can’t push anymore!” Panic at the disco. Seriously, the energy of the room was like flames from a Nasa rocket at blast off. Anxiety to the max. I think to myself, no way sister, one more push and she’s gonna have a baby in her arms, so I encourage her to have one more strong push, push hard with a closed mouth, and pop, out comes the baby! A little cheer goes out, but its kinda subdued, so somewhere between a golf clap and a tennis cheer, because everyone who wasn’t busy in all of Houston is now in this room, and we are all AMAZED at this woman and her husband, and the doctor and midwife. Baby and mama and papa are cooing and loving up, and he’s on her chest and pinking up, and I can see where his little foot has been up by his ear, his legs jutting out like little sticks. At one point the doctor tells me to put her leg down, which I had completely forgotten I was even holding, and starts to address the placenta. I look over at the midwife, and mouth one word,” Fuuuuuuuck,” because as she says “The stars and moon aligned, and we got a magical birth,” and I don’t even know who Dawn is, but I want to kiss her on the mouth. Why? Because the doctor, the one doc of a small pool who even has breech delivery privileges at this hospital, who somehow happened to be on another floor, was called by Dawn, and told what was going on. THANK YOU! She maybe doesn’t want a kiss from a queer doula, but I officially from now until the end of time super heart her. #LOVEFOREVAH The best description I have for the doc comes from Rock Steady, who said, “That doc, he was just as cool as the other side of the pillow.” You got that right. Thank you Tracey, Angela and baby Garner for inviting me to the party. I’m a better person for being there. #gratitude. Wanna know more about Rowan’s doula services? http://doulamatch.net/profile/12605/rowan-twosisters
Scarry Scarry night, mix your colors blue and grey, was part of an awesome song named Vincent by Don McLean, check it out:
Stars are cool, scars, not so much.* Especially if they are there after surgery, restricting your range of motion, keeping your body sore and tender, perhaps reinforcing a sense of failure. Good News! You can work them out, some of it is as simple as using a kid’s toy. And in our mission to teach folks how to heal themselves our first tutorial is for dudes who have had breast tissue removed, specifically for dudes having a transgender experience. Not you? Thats cool, pass it along to someone who is. Recovering from a surgical birth? Same info applies, it’s just a switch of the location of the real estate. Heres a quick tutorial on healing your scars. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qgf55IwMqoU XO to the max, Rowan and posse P.S.: Sometimes scars are hot, like have you met my friend Bethany?
It’s not really about me, is it? It’s about you, how I can help You. I can help you heal your self, reawaken or breathe life into that tiny spark, that flame where you are your own best healer.
- Trust me, I can get you pregnant, look into my eyes…..
I am an Urban Curandera, wedda growing up in El Paso, where I always wanted to work in birth, show leadership in my community, and create safe haven for those needing to stop, rest, and recharge. The cultural diseases I work with most are stress, fertility challenges, navigating the birth a mama wants, and healing emotionally and physically in the postpartum period. Training? yeah, I have some: LMT, MTI, CIMI, TTTtm, Minister, Reiki master, Nia Blue Belt instructor, Hoopnotica, BodyHoops, and Punk Rock hoopdance instructor, and currently completing midwifery training. Unofficial credentials include medical intuitive, tarot proffesional, tarot instructor and lover of all things fermented, teacher of how to ferment damn near anything. I live and breathe healing arts. My experience includes 20+ years exploring massage, midwifery, essential oils, accepting divine self and green economics. I am committed to doing whatever it takes to facilitate folks living more comfortably in their own skin.
Best Prenatal Massage Ever – $145
Not to be weird, but would you like to feel really good? Muscles relaxed, mind serene, loose and fluid, world peace flowing from your pores? Renewed and feeling beyond awesome? Be jazzed about your baby and upcoming birth? No problemo. This is the massage for you.
What if you are high risk, pregnant with twins, bleeding early, on bed rest or what have you? Still no problem, I can still totally see you, do excellent work. I have a super high skill set, probably as a result of my constant learning and my turtle pace for completing my midwifery training, so let me know what’s placed you in the high risk category.
If you can safely come to me, great, otherwise we will do an outcall to your place. (Outside the loop incurs milage, and there is a fee increase, but it’s not like powerball huge or anything.)
Check out the Best Pregnancy EVER! Gift Package for the luckiest mamas ever.
A note about IN-STUDIO SERVICES:
All services last approximately an hour and 30 minutes and are provided in-studio by appointment only, payable in plastic, cash or check. New client? Please download and complete the client intake form and bring it with you to your first visit. Please & Thank You.
Well Belly & Scar Reduction – $145 Problem: Know what? Scars can really mess up your life. It’s what you don’t see that is dangerous.
- What you see is not what you get!
When they occur internally, your organs, muscles, and bones are bound together with some crazy strong connective tissue that your body sets up as an overachieving healing response. Abdominal scars can occur after ANY abdominal surgeries, gall bladder removal, appendix, lap band, tube tying, endometrious scopes, colon resections and, of course, hysterectomies and surgical births, causing wonky adhesions (like in your diagphram, hello shortness of breath!), upsetting digestive, reproductive and structural systems.
Heat, conversation, massage and aromatherapy commonly un~adhere the scars from the underlying tissues, creating EASE and an increase in function. I’ll set you up with the magic scar reducing massage oil blend and I’m going to coach you on how to massage and heal yourself, so you may decide to quit me, but that’s ok. Your healing and happy is what this session is all about. PS This is suuuuper important for mamas wanting more babies. Dr Davidson over at Ben Taub says that adhesions and scars is the number one VBAC nemesis.
Doulas Rock. **Think about how long a bride plans for her wedding, and then compare that to how much time folks invest into education and planning for a birth. Let’s shift all that. A doula helps you look at options, offers feedback as you design and decide what would feel best for your baby’s birth. Hospital, birth center, at home, what’s right for you? Where do you feel best? Who do you want there? What medication (if any)? ‘Cause really the worst (and funniest) response to the question, “Do you have a birth plan?” was “I’m planning to have a God damn baby, why do you think I’m here?!
Best Massage Doula EVER Package~ $1900 Includes one prenatal visit so we can get to know each other, your partner can meet me, and we review the birth plan, and then:
3 Prenatal Massage sessions
1 Labor Whisperer massage session (where we get your pelvis muscles loose and juicy, energy blockages cleared, and the labor ball rolling) 1 Postpartum Session to help reset your body chemistry, check on your belly and take care of any sore new mommy muscles. 1 in-home awesome postpartum FOOT MASSAGE with clapping and cheering for you ’cause you did such a great job birthing your baby. Unlimited hours of labor support, and massage massage massage during your labor. Let’s do our best to provide You and Your family the birth you desire. Please review the Doula Contract to learn more. ** some clever doula that is not me first came up with this analogy.
7007 North Fwy #435
Houston TX 77076
*Located inside the
North Houston Birth Center
w/Preggers Can Be Choosers