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Ever give a gift that you were totally  pumped about, and they were soooo not into it?Yeah, thats exactly what happened with these glasses. I was so EXCITED to give them to my honey, and were they well received? No. Not even a little. This doesn’t ever have to be your story. Best gift ever? Prenatal massage with Rowan

Want to be the best friend/in-law/sister ever? Whoa, I gotcha covered! Best Pregnancy Ever- $1600

  • 9 Prenatal Massage sessions
  • 1 Bring It, Baby! massage session (where we get mama’s muscles loose and juicy, energy blockages cleared, and the labor ball rolling)
  • 1 Postpartum Session to help reset mama’s body chemistry, check on her belly and take care of any sore new mommy muscles.

And because I’m pretty sure I’m going to be in love with you and your family at this point I’m going to come to  hospital or home and give an awesome FOOT MASSAGE and clap and cheer. ‘Cause Mama’s Rock.

 

High risk pregnancy? No problemo.UCGC_230px

Best Pregnancy Ever- $1400

  • 9 Prenatal Massage sessions
  • 1 Bring It, Baby! massage session (where we get mama’s muscles loose and juicy, energy blockages cleared, and the labor ball rolling)
  • 1 Postpartum Session to help reset mama’s body chemistry, check on her belly and take care of any sore new mommy muscles.

  And because I’m pretty sure I’m going to be in love with mama, baby and new family at this point I’d like to come to  hospital or home and give an awesome FOOT MASSAGE and clap and cheer. ‘Cause Mamas Rock.  

Any of y’all been “Over Due?”

Like all eyes on you, you’re having sporadic contactions, and the daily query…….”Is it time yet?” That’s me. I’m contracting, rhythmic referred pain in my inner thighs, all excited. Almost there! I’ll have the Labor Whispering~ Mapbook for Mamas out in a month. Tops. Designed to help mamas everywhere go through any inner blockages, and clear the way for an empowered birth, start their labor. So cloooooose. Right now I need soft sweet comments of encouragement, you know, like you would for a mama in labor? xo, Rowan

I want to share the love, so when you buy a gift certificate ….

I’m going to give You one as well. ‘Cause that’s how I roll. PAYPAL BUTTON HERE $145 for two Questions? email me.

Ever have a case of the hots so big it ENGULFS you? Body warm and tingly, all amped up and ready to GO GO GO? Perfect, cause that’s a great way to get your hormones going, and thats what this game is all about, right?

Or how about another brother from another mother?

This is the deal, YOUR orgasm gets the sex hormones flowing, and your cervix responding, so lets implement what i call the “Orgasm a Day Plan,” or ODP for short.   With the ODP its not super necessary that you are getting sperm by your cervix, although a little prostaglandins wouldn’t hurt (like sperm or evening primrose.) The real goal here is to have a massively awesome “OHHHHHHHHH,” and then reap the benefits of all that relaxing and cervical softening. So starting around 37 weeks, earlier if you’d like ( and really who wouldn’t?!!) start the OAD plan and lest see if we can get that cervix dilating, soft and ready so that when its GO GO Gadget Labor time, you have way less work to do. Whoot Whoot! xo, Rowan Dig this post? Signup for my newsletter to get more action, lol.

Screwed the pooch, my d!ck’s in the dirt, for some reason all my analogies feature the glorious peen, or an activity there of. And I must admit I feel a wee(!) bit better each time I say it. D!ck.

I’m fixin to totally disregard the sage advice of my personal entrepreneurial hero, and do a little growing up in public. See, I moved my clinic space. Into my apt. The groovy yet oh so small apt. On a Saturday afternoon. After I saw clients. With a help of a bunch of friends in the Soji Power collective. (and apparently I am, strike that, was a nasty dirty woman, my god I had never seen dust bunnies like that. I blame the puppy.) Soji Power in action! And even with all this help (and some awesome paint from the folks at New Living), you know what? I wasn’t ready to see clients on Monday. Canceled more folks on Tuesday (complete with a FB meltdown) and on Wednesday, feeling shaky but pushing through, thirty minutes before my first client, the electricity gets cut off. I’m clueless. I can’t even tell if I’ve flipped a breaker or what. I’ve received no threatening letters, I payed in full last month, so I give em a call and yes, mam, I got turned off. Well excuse, fucking, me, I apparently need a PhD in bill deciphering and heiroglyphics to understand when and how much and why exactly I’m paying more during months that Im not EVEN USING THE AC than during the summer. You know, that summer where it only rained once for 15 minutes. In May. As a side note, I could go on and on about the lack of customer service and civility, but I won’t. Bitches. (I’m looking at you, Green Mountain.) So I had to do what my girl Crys Williams just wrote about, I had to deal with what came up after I wrote the “I’m gonna have to let you down,” email. It was way hard, and the texts too. I sucked, I’m awful, and my massage would be on par with Massage Envy or something, which is not even close to good enough for me. Just like Crys said, the world didn’t implode. Folks were sweet, and I was bathed in love. Some had less love than others, but love was there. So this has me wondering. Could I have built in more time to get settled? More time to get the vibe right? Cause it wasn’t about needing the money, thank you Bari Tessler, so I didn’t have to rush back to work, was it an old habit or que? I think it was my standard M.O., and as I offer services with more depth, infused with richer energy, more clarity, and deeper connection, moving forward requires the energy to be right, the flow deep, and the love pure for me to do my best work. Cause thats what folks come to me for, right? So after some more time, more tweaking, the vibe is right. Moving forward I’m going to remember to give myself the the time, the grace, to get it right. Instead of pushing pushing pushing, cramming to much in at once. More breath, less cram.   Since we are all in this together leave me a comment below if you have a standard operating procedure that no longer serves, and lets kick that to the curb. xo to the max, Rowan ps. need more peen? of course you do!

My sweet client Hill texted me this morning, I think my baby might be in a funky position, stabbing pain on L side every day now and then for the last few days. How can I get Baby to move? After a few texts back and forth to determine where on her left side, we decided to chat by phone. The pain is right above her hip, on her side and wrapping round to her back. She had a few concerns about kidney issues, but I think we can try some baby shifting, and see if that helps. Enter here the awesome Spinning Babies concept. I attended a workshop by Gail Tully because of an off hand comment from Mean Kathleen Wilson, the Labor Enabler. Whoooooo, that was a bunch of awesome info. So this is what I think would be a good idea for Hill, a couple of 30 second inversions, morning and night,

followed by some slant time,

And lets see if we get her some relief from there. I want to take a moment to give props to midwife Gail Tully for her awesome work and teachings. Thank you thank you thank you! Has anyone else spun their baby? Doulas, mama’s, birth folks, whatcha think about this? Leave me a comment so I can see how its working for ya! xo, rowan

How freaking awesome is this? The sweetest moment, captured by this photograph, when mom sees her baby for the first time, often remembering that her strong work of the past hours brought this baby here, it’s a timeless piece of joy. Folks who are not used to birth maybe concerned about the baby drowning, so let me remind you that baby’s breathe when their faces feel the air, and right now connected to mama through the umbilical cord sweet bebe’ is receiving oxygenated blood, so there is plenty of O2 into baby. Thank you National Geographic, for running this awesome contest. And thank you strong mamas, especially this strong mama, for sharing your birth with us. much love, rowan ps anybody notice anything about where this was taken?

Howdy Mamas. Ever thought of laughing yourself into labor? The Laugh until you Pee* method, a soon to be trademarked technique  just now coined by yours truly, is gaur on teeeed to work, well, not really but you WILL be in a much better mood. Start with this website, Happy Place

And if you aren’t contracting yet, go clear your bladder and read on….. Humor courtesy of our smart phones.   Need  more? Great, cause I started this Pinterest Board just for You, Laughter to Labor. And thats what I got, cause many times going into labor happens when Moms feel safe and happy, babies are ready, and Dads have a beer.   xo, Rowan *Ha! I totally know its not hard for you to pee on yourself, but you get the idea. AND it may not be pee this time, so there.

I’m talking to you, pregnant mama in Houston. I’ve contracted with supah awesome knitter Hoopin Kim (thats her, waaay down below) to knit up a bunch of these super cute cotton boobie hats for infants*, some life like (looking like a real breast, gasp!) and some more abstract. Who they for? Well, for you of course! I’m going to give ’em to my mamas who come in for the Bring It Baby! Labor prep massage, to help them represent. What be that, the fabulous Labor Whisperer Session prep massage you ask? This massage is where we do everything I can think of to get your body and mind ready for the most empowered birth possible. Some time labor starts right then and there, like a spontaneous natural labor induction, while other times labor takes her time, starting in the next couple of days. So mamas leave me all relaxed, happy, ready to birth AND a newborn boobie hat. Everybody wins! xo, Rowan * Heres a pattern for ya ~