But first,

Santa Pics!

jon& santa Santa and Kate Nance the Chicken “Why yes, that is Rose with Kate Nance. You don’t even want to know what she wants from Santa.”


All I want is for my juicy new Danielle LaPorte planner to arrive, cause i got stuff to plan. Like school year 2016 stuff. think of this as better than a trapper keeper.


December is the last month of business as usual before midwifery madness, so please book your sessions that I either owe you, or a last hurrah before the doors close. Book here!   Not acceptable you say? I will continue to work as a Houston doula or you can join my super small client pool. It’s been an awesome 20 years, Rowan P.S. Some of you know that Parsley left us last week. #trueloveneverdies   Rowan and Parsley

It’s not really about me, is it? It’s about you, how I can help You. I can help you heal your self, reawaken or breathe life into that tiny spark, that flame where you are your own best healer.

Trust me, I can get you pregnant, look into my eyes…..

I am an Urban Curandera, wedda growing up in El Paso, where I always wanted to work in birth, show leadership in my community, and create safe haven for those needing to stop, rest, and recharge. The cultural diseases I work with most are stress, fertility challenges, navigating the birth a mama wants, and healing emotionally and physically in the postpartum period. Training? yeah, I have some: LMT, MTI, CIMI, TTTtm, Minister, Reiki master, Nia Blue Belt instructor, Hoopnotica, BodyHoops, and Punk Rock hoopdance instructor, and currently completing midwifery training. Unofficial credentials include medical intuitive, tarot proffesional, tarot instructor and lover of all things fermented, teacher of how to ferment damn near anything. I live and breathe healing arts. My experience includes 20+ years exploring massage, midwifery, essential oils, accepting divine self and green economics. I am committed to doing whatever it takes to facilitate folks living more comfortably in their own skin.

Labor Whisperer Private Session – $225 What be this? A magical way on how to start labor? Well, almost. Many times I see the same 5 things over and over again holding a woman back from entering her labor excited and body confident. Let’s go through the list together and see what we can do to mitigate any blockages, loosen and prepare your muscles, check the position of your baby*, and create an attitude of joyous anticipation. Sometimes this massage gets the labor ball rolling, and other times a few of nights of serenity and wrapping up details occur first. I want to share every tool I have to assist you in an empowered, awesome labor journey.  This is a full 2 hour session. *Baby Position is super important, let’s see what we can do to get bebe’ optimally situated!

LOA baby, looking good!

Need more info? Check out this FAQ. Oh SNAP, you Say!! Not living in Houston, or even in the great state of Texas? I got your mama self starter PDF right here.  Feel free to purchase before the 40 weeks, so you can be ahead of the game come labor time. And I need to tell you that while there are things that you can do to get yourself as on time and awesome as possible, attempting to get labor started before full term is not within the scope of this pdf. Unless your baby is ready. Pat Jones, Houston midwife and local hero, says “There is hardly anything you can do to keep a baby in when he’s ready, and hardly anything you can do to get him out if he’s not.”   Shoot me an email if you are not sure if it’s right for you, and step right up and get you some PDF labor whispering empowerment if it is. xo, Rowan

Best Prenatal Massage Ever – $145

Not to be weird, but would you like to feel really good? Muscles relaxed, mind serene, loose and fluid, world peace flowing from your pores? Renewed and feeling beyond awesome? Be jazzed about your baby and upcoming birth? No problemo. This is the massage for you.

Relaaaaaax.

What if you are high risk, pregnant with twins, bleeding early, on bed rest or what have you? Still no problem, I can still totally see you, do excellent work. I have a super high skill set,  probably as a result of my constant learning and my turtle pace for completing my midwifery training, so let me know what’s placed you in the high risk category.

If you can safely come to me, great, otherwise we will do an outcall to your place. (Outside the loop incurs milage, and there is a fee increase, but it’s not like powerball huge or anything.)

Check out the Best Pregnancy EVER! Gift Package for the luckiest mamas ever.

A note about IN-STUDIO SERVICES:

All services last approximately an hour and 30 minutes and are provided in-studio by appointment only, payable in plastic, cash or check. New client? Please download and complete the client intake form and bring it with you to your first visit. Please & Thank You.

Well Belly & Scar Reduction – $145 Problem: Know what? Scars can really mess up your life. It’s what you don’t see that is dangerous.

Large and in charge.
What you see is not what you get!

When they occur internally, your organs, muscles, and bones are bound together with some crazy strong connective tissue that your body sets up as an overachieving healing response. Abdominal scars can occur after ANY abdominal surgeries,  gall bladder removal, appendix, lap band, tube tying, endometrious scopes, colon resections and, of course, hysterectomies and surgical births, causing wonky adhesions (like in your diagphram, hello shortness of breath!), upsetting digestive, reproductive and structural systems.

Folks who have had breast augmentation or removal can create scarring that restricts movement and looks like hell. And really, chest pride is awesome, especially when you’ve had surgery to get you there. So let me help with that, k? Got scars other places? Like from when you where ten and broke your arm being Evel Knievel? Still doable. South of the border? No biggie. I can work wherever, whenever, we will navigate it together. Teamwork

love.
Here is the Plan: Lets work together to reduce them, one little adhesion at a time. I don’t want you to have a life where your organs and reproduction aren’t working well. Not going to accept that. NO.

Heat, conversation, massage and aromatherapy commonly un~adhere the scars from the underlying tissues, creating EASE and an increase in function. I’ll set you up with the magic scar reducing massage oil blend and I’m going to coach you on how to massage and heal yourself, so you may decide to quit me, but that’s ok. Your healing and happy is what this session is all about. PS This is suuuuper important for mamas wanting more babies. Dr Davidson over at Ben Taub says that adhesions and scars is the number one VBAC nemesis.

Doulas Rock. **Think about how long a bride plans for her wedding, and then compare that to how much time folks invest into education and planning for a birth. Let’s shift all that. A doula helps you look at options, offers feedback as you design and decide what would feel best for your baby’s birth. Hospital, birth center, at home, what’s right for you? Where do you feel best? Who do you want there? What medication (if any)? ‘Cause really the worst (and funniest) response to the question, “Do you have a birth plan?” was “I’m planning to have a God damn baby, why do you think I’m here?!

Best Massage Doula EVER  Package~ $1900 Includes one prenatal visit so we can get to know each other, your partner can meet me, and we review the birth plan, and then:

3 Prenatal Massage sessions

1 Labor Whisperer massage session (where we get your pelvis muscles loose and juicy, energy blockages cleared, and the labor ball rolling) 1 Postpartum Session to help reset your body chemistry, check on your belly and take care of any sore new mommy muscles. 1 in-home awesome postpartum FOOT MASSAGE with clapping and cheering for you ’cause you did such a great job birthing your baby. Unlimited hours of labor support, and massage massage massage during your labor. Let’s do our best to provide You and Your family the birth you desire. Please review the Doula Contract to learn more. ** some clever doula that is not me first came up with this analogy.

Any of y’all been “Over Due?”

Like all eyes on you, you’re having sporadic contactions, and the daily query…….”Is it time yet?” That’s me. I’m contracting, rhythmic referred pain in my inner thighs, all excited. Almost there! I’ll have the Labor Whispering~ Mapbook for Mamas out in a month. Tops. Designed to help mamas everywhere go through any inner blockages, and clear the way for an empowered birth, start their labor. So cloooooose. Right now I need soft sweet comments of encouragement, you know, like you would for a mama in labor? xo, Rowan