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So Whats the Plan, Cab Driving Man?

Talking to Smokey Red, a cab driver that was toting me back from an outcall, spurred this post.

He thinks driving a cab fucking sucks. He had a list of reasons it wasn’t working for him, and a resteraunt supply catalog jammed up on his dashboard. Said he’d only be driving a cab for 4 or 5, maybe even 6 weeks more. He had visions of a food trailer, toting barbecue, feeding people, that’s his passion. So what’s the plan, cab driving man? “Well, I don’t really have it written down, its all in my head.” And I wanted to support him, kick him in the ass a little, cause I don’t want it to stay “all in his head.” Keeping it all in your head makes you nuts. At first you obssess about your good idea, then you tallk about it all the time, and somehow all this talking makes you think you are getting somehwere, you buy a few random items that could, in theory, be part of your empire, if they, you know, worked right, had that missing wheel, or in the case of Smokey Red, if his trailer was code compliant, had that extra critical thingamabober, whatever. But in reality what you have is a bunch of wasted time, shit talking, friends and family who dont wanna hear about “your good idea” anymore, and a bunch of broken down crap and clutter. If it was a tarot reading, it would look like this.

Enter the year 2012, The Year of Getting Shit Done.  Not an entrepruner you say? Thats cool, expand yourself, try these out on your nine to fiver or on your domestic goddess domain, or stop reading right now, but for the love of biscuits find SOMETHING that contributes to your personal growth. Not your spouse, not the dogs, not the kids, but for YOUUUUUUUUU. Just You, we will all be better for it. Still with me? Great. Step right on over and sign up for this dude’s blog, Chuck Blakeman. He wrote a piece about how to effectively goal set, and instead of either sweeping general plans (see above) he wants you to figure out your next set of goals, cause we all know shit gets real when you write it down. Lets do a quick check in here, HOW ARE THOSE NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS DOING? you know, the ones you made like less than two weeks ago? Yeah, thats what she said. Gee. Lets try something different. Won’t it be FUCKING AMAZING to not be staring back at 2012 going, “well damn, another year of not getting blah blah blah done.” Instead we will be doing elaborate secret code handshakes cause we rule our school, invested in ourselves, and created the life we want. We can be cool like that. Yes. Do me a favor (and you too) Comment below. Pick one from your list of 4-10 and tell me what this month’s objective is. Look, I’ll go first. I’m gonna relocate my clinic, move a bunch of furniture, and temporarily work from my groovy tree house apt while my awesome landlady, her old man, and myself build out my fantasy healing art space in the studio below the apt. For reals. We will, we will, rock this. Tell me your dream thats gonna come true. xo to the max, rowan

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Inversion, What’s that About?

My sweet client Hill texted me this morning, I think my baby might be in a funky position, stabbing pain on L side every day now and then for the last few days. How can I get Baby to move? After a few texts back and forth to determine where on her left side, we decided to chat by phone. The pain is right above her hip, on her side and wrapping round to her back. She had a few concerns about kidney issues, but I think we can try some baby shifting, and see if that helps. Enter here the awesome Spinning Babies concept. I attended a workshop by Gail Tully because of an off hand comment from Mean Kathleen Wilson, the Labor Enabler. Whoooooo, that was a bunch of awesome info. So this is what I think would be a good idea for Hill, a couple of 30 second inversions, morning and night,

followed by some slant time,

And lets see if we get her some relief from there. I want to take a moment to give props to midwife Gail Tully for her awesome work and teachings. Thank you thank you thank you! Has anyone else spun their baby? Doulas, mama’s, birth folks, whatcha think about this? Leave me a comment so I can see how its working for ya! xo, rowan

Dating Money

Here is the deal. I’ve been working it like no other in the financial therapy dept, and this so far has pretty much sucked. SUUUUUUCKED. I’m moody, I’m not leaving the house much except to do fabulous work, to walk the dogs and occasionally hoop.

I’m looking at the past, and creating a new future. Fan fucking tastic. Cue up breakthrough number 83 ~ I realized I have a pretty rough relationship with money, and I want to have a smooth sailing, I feel you, this is a team, empathy relationship with money. Muy differente. And this is not my first rodeo, people. Ran with the scissors of Dave Ramsey, read books by Lynne Twist, learned about the Soul Of Money, and been on the floor of the SuperDome one year after Katrina, listening to Suze Orman tell the NOLA ladies that they had paved their own way to Hell by giving away their resources, and that she would teach them how to never, ever be there again. Thats a pretty big swing, right? Scissors to soul softness to the cold floor of the Superdome (that, by the way, a year after Katrina still vibed up despair.) Oh money, who are you? I thought about that, and I thought about dating money, go for a walk, a dinner, a dance, what would money look like? Cause I’m clear that I’m creating a face for money, much like folks create a face for divine source (God, Pan, Athena, HP, whatever.) So what would money look like, whose face is staring back at me over the candlelight? Know who I really wanted it to be? She’s so fly, I could wear her t~shirts, listen to her music, be DOWNNNNNNNNNNN.

No such luck. There I was, laying all angsty across my bed, hoping for Ani, when a sense of peace filled me, and the face of a man I’d admired for a long time floated into my mind. Someone who had changed my life for the better. Many times. Steve. Steve put a computer in my pocket, strengthened my bizness, gave me professional leverage and made me not AFRAID of computers. Creative genius that allowed me to be a creative genius. Steve also represents to me an authenticity with money, that you can make mistakes, be a jerk, get thrown out of your own company, learn from it, have vision, wear what you want, and remain yourself. Do cool things cause you want to, be real. Creativity with money. Nice. So this is the face of money for me, the energy I ask to take walks with me, to sit with me when I have to negotiate a piece of financial intricacy, be with me when I’m nervous and whelmd. Steve.

I have this taped up on a mirror in my living space, so I can chat and get reassurance that I’m going to make it through all this intense learning. Thanks again Mr. Jobs. I still need you. xo, Rowan ps If anyone has a left over Justin Beiber popup they bought for a halloween joke from Arne’s I’ll take it off your hands,  I wanna collage all over it and have a LIFE SIZE Steve collage. Yes, I will be the most awesome kid in school then, fist pump!

Talked Down Off the Ledge, the Financial Ledge.

Howdy~ Ever lost your sh!t over money? The major melt down that looks like, “Screw it, I’ll never figure this out, my next option is to throw my self off the 59 bridge.” Below is an actual excerpt of a meltdown email, written by moi …..

      I got it last night (as I wept to myself in frustration and anger) that I don’t have enough money to manage. That I constantly scheme and move shit around to make things work, and that I’m exhausted and cant seem to possibly work any harder, and didn’t want to face a brick wall of reality of oh shit Im doing everything I can think of, and its still not enough, oh fuck, what now.

What happened then? Cause this is pretty neat airplane nose dive, right? Going one way, and thats down. Crash and burn. Flames. Done. I looked at my primary agreements around money…..       My agreements seem to be that I will work nonstop and never change the outcome.  Then I assessed the situation, without the emotions….      I am a mess And then I decided to change my mantra, and get healp (you know healing help, HEALP HEALP!!) ……….  I have a vision. a series of videos on how to help women get preg, mind, emotion, body & spirit. bschool style.  I can rock this. i can open myself up to more flow. I am of tremendous value, and today I am showing myself that with money. Thanks for holding my hand as I navigate this rough sea, rowan   Like who do you even send an email like this to? All full of typos, miss spellings and just raw PAIN? The I just threw up, I’m so not pretty, can you help me get the spew out of my hair email?! I sent this to my girl Bari, with who I’m doing a program with, an online course to help me just start TRACKING my money, which has all let all my “I am financial loser,” feeling-a-thon rise up. Wanna know why this is wonderful? Cause all this has been buried deep, so deep. And as it bubbles up, I can address it, look at it, lance that nasty boil, (ooooh, you so nasty!) All those (40) years of not good enough, thats not a real job, why cant you keep your money shit together like everyone else, what the HELL is wrong with you, that I have super squashed into a tiny little spot in my foot or some other place that hurts like hell. I said LANCE THAT [email protected]!! Get some massive RELIEF. See what Bari sent back?

Rowan,  i hear you. i see you. i feel you. i understand. hang in there...you are clearly on the brink of change here. and the waters can be rough and then they will smooth out, but the rough ones need to be ridden...as you know. i have been there. the slow movement will speed up...just continue... And, hold the Vision...I love it. And, YOU would Rock it. I will hold this with you.
The world needs you to do this and bring this to them!  with love, bari

Is that just perfect or what? Like a cool compress on an angry bursting boil, easing the transition, and not afraid of the spew and goo. I adore this woman. Therapist turned financial maven. She has a a new program starting up.  Its about money and worth and something else and hell I don’t really know. I just know that I’ll be there, watching my little inbox and doing what she says. Cause I’m totally over being poisoned by toxic money beliefs, and this the YEAR of getting it together. So join me learning from Bari , see if you love her as much as I do. I’m not going to suffer like this any more. Its painful. Join me in healing. All in this together, Rowan